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SimianLogic's Reviews


by SimianLogic

On A Roll

  • Worth the Points!
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  • Not Worth the Points!
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Got a Flat

On a Roll is a basic Sonic the Hedgehog sendup. You play as a rolling ball tasked with finding your way through sixteen levels of enemy balls, spikes, and Sonic-like terrain. You collect stars of various values (rings) on your way through to protect you from harm--every time you hit spikes or an enemy ball, you cough up 100 stars. Don't have 100 stars? You lose a life. Don't have a life? Game over and...

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by SimianLogic

Slingstar

  • Worth the Points!
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  • Not Worth the Points!
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Action Meditation

In real space, almost everything is monumentally far away from everything else--so much so that collisions rarely happen. In Slingstar, you play a little spaceship in a black void full of things that love running into you. To prevent these collisions, your ship is equipped with "wingmen"--tiny little indestructible ships that do their best to stick to a close orbit around you. Why you bought indestructible wingmen but failed to get even a shred of...

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by SimianLogic

Shellblast HD

  • Worth the Points!
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  • Not Worth the Points!
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Bastard Child of Minesweeper and Sudoku

Shellblast is kind of like a cross between Sudoku (where columns have to tally) and Minesweeper. Each bomb is a puzzle with randomly placed "pistons" which must be properly identified in order to diffuse the thing. Though the game is played on a grid, each puzzle uses a different "shape" for its bomb. Though there's no real difference between a tile which isn't used in the puzzle and one which is used in the puzzle...

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by SimianLogic

Wacky Karts

  • Worth the Points!
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  • Not Worth the Points!
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Like Playing The Shadow of Mario Kart

It's actually a little unfortunate that Nintendo has set the bar so monumentally high in the "kart racing" genre--any casual racing game will inevitably be compared to the Mario Kart franchise and most likely lose. Wacky Karts has everything you'd expect from a retro Mario Kart clone: a variety of "karts" (each driven by different large-headed characters with different speed/acceleration/handling attribute), a campy soundtrack, a grand prix mode, time trials, and a battle mode. The...

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by SimianLogic

Shardscape Assault

  • Worth the Points!
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  • Not Worth the Points!
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Ambitious, but Can't Overcome the WTF Factor

When I'm reviewing a game, I have a pretty high tolerance for things that make me say, "WTF?" With Shardscape Assault, I went so far past my WTF-limit that future games will be rated on a WTF scale of 1 to Shardscape Assault. The game opens with an unskippable text intro sequence, with a single line of text appearing at a time. While it's nice to see that some thought went into the backstory, I could...

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by SimianLogic

Jungle Blocks

  • Worth the Points!
  • 0
  • Not Worth the Points!
  • 1
Jungle Themed Breakout Wannabe

The best thing about Jungle Blocks is the cute little Aztec/Mayan-themed background. The gameplay, like the rest of the game, is completely unremarkable. Collision on the paddle is pretty weak (I often "hit" on the edges only to have the ball fall through), but it hardly matters. Taking out the bricks above works in a simple combo routine--the more blocks you hit between successive paddle hits, the more each of those blocks is worth. You get...

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by SimianLogic

Nebulon

  • Worth the Points!
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  • Not Worth the Points!
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Effects More Fun than Gameplay

Nebulon is a pretty badass looking game, but unfortunately the awesomeness doesn't translate to the actual gameplay itself. You play as a little glowing ship flying around and blasting the crap out of things. Enemies have a natural progression--their "difficulty" is based on the number of orbs which make up their ship. Blast enough of them and they'll drop powerups, which you can use to improve your own gear. Unfortunately the powerups often drop in...

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by SimianLogic

Nasty

  • Worth the Points!
  • 0
  • Not Worth the Points!
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Focus Should Be On Gameplay, Not More Levels

Timing-wise, I picked a pretty good day to review Nasty--which I downloaded and tried out this morning. When I sat down to do the review, there was a press-release in my inbox announcing it had been updated: The 1.5 update to Nasty features several tweaks to gameplay and new weapons that promise to make Nasty a more fun, more action packed experience. Many of these changes were made to address concerns gamers had about the...

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by SimianLogic

Ninja Guardian

  • Worth the Points!
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  • Not Worth the Points!
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Tiny Ninja Jump Attack Go!

Ninja Guardian is a lot like Machiavelli's Ascent (which we reviewed here), only with Ninjas. And smaller. The game screens are each divided into three panes, each textured to look like canvas. When not in use (i.e. a game screen or some sort of message), each screen sports a Hiroshige-styled Japanese landscape painting. While playing the game, the center 1/3rd of the screen acts as a platforming bounce-field. Depending on the level or game mode,...

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by SimianLogic

Fishing Girl

  • Worth the Points!
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  • Not Worth the Points!
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Delightful Little Game Snack

While most games try to do a bit too much, Fishing Girl is content with being a bite-sized little mini-game. Two young lovers are separated by an ocean, and you have 10 minutes to re-unite them. This can be accomplished by casting your line all the way to the next island and reeling the whole thing back in. To be able to cast that far, you'll need to upgrade your rod all the way (I...

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