xbox live indie game reviews

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Not Worth the Points

There's No Substitute For the Real Thing.

Firecracker HD is yet another entry in that obscure, 'is it a game/is it an app/is it a screensaver/what the hell would you categorize this as, exactly?' genre-that-isn't-definitive-enough to be called a 'genre'. I certainly appreciate the concept of the game; Blowing up shit for no apparent reason is approximately the second most manly thing one can hope to accomplish in life, right behind singlehandedly culling an overpopulated herd of bison with a pointy stick and turning them into juicy, tasty, succulent bison burgers over an open flame. For extra man cards, if a nearby campsite is hosting a PETA convention, burn it to the ground and cook the last burger over a smoldering corpse!

 

Getting back on topic, there are: ONE! TWO! THREE! THREE BUTTONS YOU CAN PRESS! AH! AH! AHAAAA! Your booms, like your lattes, come in small, medium and some random, dumbass foreign language version of the word 'large' that you like to use because you're at a pretentious coffee shop. Probably one full of PETA enthusiasts. If you see one, follow them to dinner and pretend to be a member of the wait staff, then hide some beef bullion cubes in with their tofu and let your evil cackles resonate through the cafe. Anyways, you press buttons, then shiny things appear. Ta-da!

 

I really tried hard to enjoy this more, but, like Acme Imitation Elf Blood, there's no substitute for the real thing.

 

XBox Live Indie Games Reviews